Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
