Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
