Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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