I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize