See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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