It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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