Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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