i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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