This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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