people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
