you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
