Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Randomize
