It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
