I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
