You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
