Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
