I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
