help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Randomize
