.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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