You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
