Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize