He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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