I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
