R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
