Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
