i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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