Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
