I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Boobs speak an international language.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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