Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
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