I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
