My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
