Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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