If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I could fuck to npr.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Randomize
