I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
