My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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