i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
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