Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
