Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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