Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
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