Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize