How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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