whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
