At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
