oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Randomize
