Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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