Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
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