I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
