I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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