After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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