Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
