I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
