Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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