i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
