I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
