He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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