I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize