sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
