so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
