and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
