yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
