best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I got inside last night via doggy door
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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