Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
