It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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