I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
i barfeds in our rink
I love having hate sex.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
