Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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