That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
