I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
