she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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