i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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