She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
