yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
