White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
