Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
