Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
